Matchmakers
by Hawki
Summary: Looking for love in the Nexus? Trying to find that special someone in-between the never-ending battles? Well, look no further. Matchmakers has you covered. Find true love today!
1. Diablo

_A/N_

 _Those of you who recall the_ Love is in the Air _promotion for the game might recall that in the trailer, Zagara is seen looking at an app called "Matchmakers" - a made-up dating site that lists the likes, dislikes, and desires of Thrall, Illidan, and Anub'arak. The idea for this series was to take the concept and apply it to the heroes of the game. Not every hero (e.g. not alternate skins, so no Magni or Widowmaker), but every 'proper' hero, including ones that haven't been released yet or were canceled during development._

 _So, first up,_ Diablo _._

* * *

 **Heroes of the Storm: Matchmakers**

 **Chapter 1: Diablo**

 **Aidan**

Likes: Ploughing through the darkness, slaying demons, gathering loot…

Dislikes: That whispering voice within me that haunts my every thought.

What I'm Looking For: Someone who's willing to be there for me during the hard times. Warning – will have to tolerate bouts of insanity and spikes protruding from my face from time to time.

 **Auriel**

Likes: Cheerleading. hopscotch (hey, you know you like it), gardening.

Dislikes: Discord, strife, being compared to Wonder Woman (no, Al'maiesh is not the Lasso of Truth, it's completely different!).

What I'm Looking For: Someone nice who doesn't argue much. Like, at all. Do you have any idea how much family drama I've had to deal with up in Heaven?

 **Azmodan**

Likes: Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. And basketball.

Dislikes: Purity, virtue, and all that nonsense. And nephalem.

What I'm Looking For: Oh baby, you know what I like…

 **Belial**

Likes: Truth or Dare, Twenty Questions, Clue, Where's Waldo?

Dislikes: Juries, polygraphs, nephalem.

What I'm Looking For: A nice stable partner. A person with honesty. One who will assist me in my conquest of Hell.

One of those requests is a lie.

 **Baal**

Likes: To destroy, annihilate, and gouge on the flesh of mortals.

Dislikes: The artsy types.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to march beside me as I lay waste to this miserable world.

 **The Butcher**

Likes: FRESH MEAT!

Dislikes: VEGETABLES!

What I'm Looking For: FRESH MEAT! (particularly sausage).

 **Cain**

Likes: Stories, storytelling, scrolls of ancient lore, ancient artifacts.

Dislikes: Scrolls of identification (steal my business will you?), people who won't stay awhile and listen.

What I'm Looking for: Oh, I'm too old for this thing. I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

 **Cydaea**

Likes: To bathe in poison with my playthings, and spin my endless web.

Dislikes: Those who cannot have fun, and accept the true natures of their lust.

What I'm Looking For: Oh come into my web and see…

 **Diablo**

Likes: The smell of terror, the scent of fear, and the symphony of nightmares.

Dislikes: Meddling heroes who stop me getting away with my plans.

What I'm Looking For: A mortal host. Seriously, go through one about every game.

 **Ghom**

Likes: Food, glorious food.

Dislikes: To do nothing but brood.

What I'm Looking For: To have that extra bit more.

 **Isendra**

Likes: Little girls who…wait, that didn't come out right.

Dislikes: The Vizjerei Clan, and all those stuck-up sorcerers within it.

What I'm Looking For: I only take the best. If you think that's you, give me a call.

 **Johanna**

Likes: Piety, chastity, dedication, faith, martial prowess, physical endurance, etc.

Dislikes: Weakness, smart alecs, demons, heretics, apostates, infidels, etc.

What I'm Looking For: Fine, I admit it, I'm just looking for an apprentice. Interested?

 **Kharazim**

Likes: Meditation, walks along the Sky Monastery, peace and quiet.

Dislikes: Children. Little brats never shut up.

What I'm Looking For: Alas, my vows of chastity prevent me from answering this. Temptation is a cruel mistress.

 **Leah**

Likes: Adventure (nothing too rough), the ability to just kick back and relax.

Dislikes: People who talk too much. Yes, I can stay and listen, that doesn't mean I have to.

What I'm Looking For: Honestly, I'm a bit wary about the idea of family right now. Just…give me a sec, okay?

 **Leoric**

Likes: Milk, croquet, pleasant walks through my gardens.

Dislikes: Traitors, backstabbers, people who kill me more than once (bastards).

What I'm Looking For: A good partner. But no children. Little twats only betray you.

 **Li-Ming**

Likes: Magic, power, fame, fortune.

Dislikes: People who doubt me, people who oppose me, people who mock me, people who think they're above me, etc.

What I'm Looking For: Hah, you think I would desire something as simple as a partner? Dream on, plebes.

 **Malthael**

Likes: Angels.

Dislikes: Demons, humans, nephalem. Seriously, hate those guys.

What I'm Looking For: Angel or bust. Call me a bigot, I don't care.

 **Mephisto**

Likes: Hmm…not much actually.

Dislikes: Anything and everything. Seriously, I'm the Lord of Hatred, what do you expect?

What I'm Looking For: Someone to subject to my absolute authority as Lord of Hell. All or nothing. Deal with it.

 **Nazeebo**

Likes: Poisons, plagues, pestilences, etc.

Dislikes: People who question my credentials. I'm a doctor. I shouldn't have to keep explaining myself.

What I'm Looking For: Hoodoo voodoo that I hope you do.

 **Sonya**

Likes: Hearing the lamentations of my enemies.

Dislikes: Quitters, people who go AFK, lag…

What I'm Looking For: Snu snu. Lots of snu snu.

 **Tyrael**

Likes: Justice.

Dislikes: Injustice.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to stand with me throughout the ages. Immortal or mortal, until the end of time, and sundering of eternity.

 **Valla**

Likes: Puppies, rainbows, walks along the beach.

Dislikes: Demons, Diablo, and demons.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to mend my cold, barren heart.

 **Xul**

Likes: Zool, muthfucka, Zool! And _Ghostbusters_.

Dislikes: Weakness, and light. Seriously, hurts my eyes.

What I'm Looking For: Someone interesting. Good body, inquisitive mind…


	2. StarCraft

.

 **Heroes of the Storm: Matchmakers**

 **Ch. 2: StarCraft**

 **Abathur**

Likes: Work. Perfection. Spin it. Make great. Evolution.

Dislikes: Sloppiness, inefficiency, copying work. Not insecure. Not.

What I'm Looking For: Biomatter. Test subject. Will acquire. Give back body later.

 **Artanis**

Likes: Armour, psi-blades, raining down heavy firepower from the _Spear of Adun_.

Dislikes: Being poked (seriously, I'm not an orc), people mistaking _StarCraft_ for _Warcraft_ , those people who keep re-adjusting my personal chambers.

What I'm Looking For: Hah, I am the leader of the Daelaam. Of the Firstborn. Do you think I require something as simple as a companion?

 **Dehaka**

Likes: Essence.

Dislikes: Lack of essence.

What I'm Looking For: Essence.

 **Duke**

Likes: Good ol' fashioned discipline.

Dislikes: Damn fringe world yokels, and other insubordinate slobs.

What I'm Looking For: Bah, you think I'm going to tell you squibs? Fekk off!

 **Fenix**

Likes: Honour, glory, and the thrill of battle.

Dislikes: Glitchy psi-blades, traitors, broodlings…

What I'm Looking For: Someone to stand by my side as we march across a hundred worlds, bringing swift death to the enemies of the Firstborn.

 **Grunty**

Likes: Murglegurglegurgle!

Dislikes: Garglegegarklegurgle!

What I'm Looking For: Mmmhark! Mmrkakakahle!

 **Kerrigan**

Likes: Vengeance, slaughtering my enemies, etc.

Dislikes: The feeling of millions of zerglings licking themselves. All at the same time…

What I'm Looking For: Just kidding Jim, you know you're the only one for me.

 **Mengsk**

Likes: Power, authority, wealth, and vengeance.

Dislikes: Rebels, dissidents, traitors.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to be loyal, no questions asked, to be willing to give their life without hesitation. Cross me, and you'll regret it.

 **Leon**

Likes: Eh, not much really.

Dislikes: Nip, nadda, zilch.

What I'm Looking For: I'm a made up character who was cut during development. What the hell do you think I'm looking for?! Nothing!

 **Morales**

Likes: Sponge baths (giving them and receiving them), needle guns, flash grenades.

Dislikes: Bugs, especially the big ones. Being called "Doc." Oh, and needles.

What I'm Looking For: Eh, give me some frag magnets. I'm sick of being shot at.

 **Nova**

Likes: Shooting straight (yes, that has more than one meaning panbrain).

Dislikes: People who mistake me for Kerrigan, having my games cancelled, redheads.

What I'm Looking For: Eh, just looking for sex right now (come on, you know you want me). Also, must like cats.

 **Overmind**

Likes: The feeling of control, to be the alpha and omega of perfection.

Dislikes: Having my will subverted, Amon.

What I'm Looking For: The genetic material of this world. All shall be become one with the Swarm.

 **Raynor**

Likes: Country rock, having a cold one, my Vulture, kicking arse and taking names.

Dislikes: Being sucked into the Nexus, bad guys (especially Diablo), injustice.

What I'm Looking For: Hah hah Sarah, saw your joke.

 **Selendis**

Likes: Meeting the enemies of the protoss in glorious combat.

Dislikes: The Nerazim, the Tal'darim, terrans, zerg, non-protoss in general.

What I'm Looking For: I am a proud warrior of the Templar! I need nothing so base as companionship!

 **Sgt. Hammer**

Likes: Blowing stuff up. Like, seriously. Why do you think I pilot a siege tank?

Dislikes: Pansies, wimps…y'know what I'm talking about.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to load their cannon and shoot shells into my hole.

 **Tassadar**

Likes: Psionic storms, psionic bolts, psionic shields, archons, etc.

Dislikes: Being left out of the loop. I mean, stalkers, warp prisms, colossi…gimme reavers, Khas damn it!

What I'm Looking For: Someone to 'ride' my psionic lightning. Khala me if interested.

 **Tosh**

Likes: The feeling of a blade in one hand, and a rifle in the other. Watch me close, brotha.

Dislikes: Backstabbers, brotha. Y'know what I mean.

What I'm Looking For: Voodoo hoodoo that I hope you do.

 **Tychus**

Likes: Fighting, gambling, boozing, flicking, shooting, rooting, and flicking.

Dislikes: Any of those 'holier than thou' sorts. Fekkheads.

What I'm Looking For: Oh just give me some big tits and a big hole, baby.

 **Ultimaton**

Likes: Eating, killing, evolving.

Dislikes: Wait, I'm an ultralisk. How am I even doing this?

What I'm Looking For: N/A (sounds of roars and screams heard)

 **Vaevictis**

Likes: To hunt down my enemies and make them suffer until the end.

Dislikes: Yes, I can talk. Are you so surprised?

What I'm Looking For: The weak and feeble to be my prey.

 **Valerian**

Likes: Archaeology, swordplay, reading, fine wines and ports.

Dislikes: Uncouthness, low sophistication – I do not suffer fools lightly.

What I'm Looking For: Someone intelligent. Must be well read. Shared interests is a plus.

 **Warfield**

Likes: People I can rely on in the heat of battle, when one's true mettle is tested.

Dislikes: Backstabbers, pirates, thieves, criminals. And hydralisks. Damn poison…

What I'm Looking For: Someone who can help heal this old soldier. And nothing zerg. Any zerg, no dice.

 **Zagara**

Likes: Banelings, roaches, mutalisks, hydralisks, hunter killers, nydus worms

Dislikes: Those who would stand against the Swarm.

What I'm Looking For: Someone big and strong, to spawn an entire brood with. Must have good legs.

 **Zeratul**

Likes: Prophecies, the shadows, being on my lonesome.

Dislikes: Too much light, traitors, fallen gods.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to probe the mysteries of the Void with me. And…a hug once in awhile would be nice.


	3. Warcraft

.

 **Heroes of the Storm: Matchmakers**

 **Chapter 3: Warcraft**

 **Aggra**

Likes: Hearing the wind, and the voices of the elements.

Dislikes: The ignorant, and those who waste my time.

What I'm Looking For: Hah, you think I would wish to part from my life-mate? Silly pinkskin.

 **Anub'arak**

Likes: Disco (hey, you know you like it!). Slaying blood elves. And humans. And orcs. And nerubians. Huh - slaying in general. Long relaxing scuttles on the beach. Subjugating others.

Dislikes: Serving ruthless, demanding masters. Hey, Lich King - I'll call if I feel like it! Being deceased.

What I'm Looking For: A female with 6 to 8 legs. Must love children. Thousands of children.

 **Arthas**

Likes: Mercenaries (hey, I love mercenaries), saving my kingdom, honour and glory.

Dislikes: The whispers from Frostmourne, as they echo within the helm that my head carries. Also sitting on an ice throne for seven-plus years.

What I'm Looking For: A Lich Queen of my own to settle down with and have some little lichlings. Is that too much to ask?

 **Azshara**

Likes: Me, myself, and I.

Dislikes: The lower lifeforms of this world.

What I'm Looking For: Hah! Do you think I would stoop so low as to consider any of you my equal? Be gone from my sight!

 **Brann**

Likes: Sense of adventure, sense of discovery, and the sense of having the latest issue of _Explorer's Weekly_ in my thick, muscular hands.

Dislikes: Water. We dwarves aren't made for swimmin' ya know.

What I'm Looking For: I intend to travel through all the worlds of the Nexus, have a cold one, and then do the same thing in the next world I find. Interested in a pint and a companion? Also, must like monkeys.

 **Brightwing**

Likes: Happy things, like puppies, and rainbows, and dead enemies. Also the taste of human skulls.

Dislikes: When people try to hurt poor Brightwing when she only wants to play.

What I'm Looking For: A good friend with which to play with. Please respond. You don't want to be my enemy…

 **Cenarius**

Likes: **Those who would stand with me, in defence of the lands of Kalimdor!**

Dislikes: **Those who would invoke the wrath of Cenarius and the night elves!**

What I'm Looking For: **Someone to help me with my computer – it's stuck on bold!**

 **Chen**

Likes: Home brew, Stormstout Brewery brew, brew in general, wandering about.

Dislikes: Feeling parched, feeling dry, people who can't just get along.

What I'm Looking For: That is not the true question. Perhaps a better question is, "what do I need?"

 **Cho'gall**

 _Warning: This account has been suspended due to numerous simultaneous login attempts, offensive language, and cause for concern that this individual/individuals seeks to bring about the end of the Nexus._

 **Chromie**

Likes: Oh, happy things. Gold coins, pleasant locales…I'd tell you more, but I'm out of time.

Dislikes: Gnome jokes. I'm not a gnome, I'm a dragon! You wouldn't punt a dragon, would you?

What I'm Looking For: Time. Time. Always want more time (but not as much time as Nozdormu, poor sod).

 **Deathwing**

Likes: The deep places of the earth, and those whispers in my head.

Dislikes: Mortals, and everything they have brought into this world.

What I'm Looking For: Hah, no not think I crave something as meaningless as companionship. The world has shown that only those of my own dragonflight can be trusted.

 **E.T.C.**

Likes: Heavy metal, country rock, black coffee, MOOTALICA!

Dislikes: The tour bus breaking down, broken guitar strings…oh, and Creed. Creed sucks.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to rock my pants off.

 **Falstad**

Likes: The wind at mah back, and a monster between me legs.

Dislikes: Blood elves (though high elves are an okay sort), people who think I'm dead (and people who _want_ me dead).

What I'm Looking For: Eh, someone who can gulp and blow. Ya know what I'm talkin' about.

 **Garrosh**

Likes: Strength, dominance, and pure fighting spirit.

Dislikes: Hypocrites and cowards.

What I'm Looking For: I am above such need. Do you think I am fool enough to seek yet another knife in my back?

 **Gallywix**

Likes: The sweet, sweet sound of gold running through my nimble goblin fingers. Oh, and the smell as well.

Dislikes: Cheapskates, bozos who think they can outsmart me, wise guys.

What I'm Looking For: Losing my stuff. People who slow me down and…what? It's every goblin for himself in this multiverse.

 **Gazlowe**

Likes: Gold. Constructing incredible feats of engineering that don't blow up 'til I want 'em to. Uhh, did I mention gold? And a little respect goes a long way.

Dislikes: Gnome engineers (coughHACKS!cough) jokes. When my tech goes kablooey. Not gettin' paid.

What I'm Looking For: Somebody who don't mind goin' dutch. It ain't that I'm cheap...well, okay - I'm cheap. Guilty as charged.

 **Gelbin**

Likes: A good mind, a quick wit, and patents on my inventions.

Dislikes: Goblins (amateurs, the lot of them!), troggs, leeper gnomes.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to help me screw. My bolts, I mean – it's so hard to find good mechanics in the Nexus.

 **Greymane**

Likes: A good shot, privacy, another good shot, and the feeling of tearing out my opponent's throat.

Dislikes: The undead, busybodies, kids today with their cultural 'references,' those damn fleas…

What I'm Looking For: Gilneas restored to its old glory. And a bigger wall!

 **Grom**

Likes: Honour, glory, and the song of Gorehowl.

Dislikes: Demons, humans, demons, elves…and fel blood. Tastes terrible.

What I'm Looking For: To see clearly once more, and the rain to pass.

 **Harth**

Likes: The crackling of the fire, a good pint of ale, and a game of _Hearthstone_ in the middle of it all.

Dislikes: Dirty cheaters.

What I'm Looking For: Play your cards right and find out.

 **Hogger**

Likes: You like Hogger? Like? Like?!

Dislikes: Ah, teeth and gnash! Swords sharp! Kill!

What I'm Looking For: Graww!

 **Illidan**

Likes: Eldritch power. A good soft bandanna that doesn't chafe. Revenge.

Dislikes: Crazy chicks who want to lock you up for thousands of years. Having my motives questioned. Girl-stealing brothers.

What I'm Looking For: Is that some kind of joke? Seriously? How DARE you - you have NO idea what I've been through!

 **Jaina**

Likes: Magic, studying, peace and quiet,

Dislikes: Demons who destroy my homeland, orcs who destroy my homeland, people who try to destroy the world…um…got more, if you're interested.

What I'm Looking For: Let's see, my old boyfriends tried to destroy the world (twice), and my current boyfriend seems to be doing his own thing. Let's try something different this time.

 **Kael'thas**

Likes: Energy, power, fire, magic.

Dislikes: Setbacks, burning my hair, losing my homeland, humans and the Alliance in general, insolent wretches.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to mana tap. And who knows, I might let you tap me as well…

 **Kil'jaeden**

Likes: Seeing whole worlds fall to the might of the Burning Legion.

Dislikes: Traitors. Illidan, Velen, I'm looking at you!

What I'm Looking For: Servants to aid me in the Burning Crusade. And a buff at the Sunwell please.

 **Li Li**

Likes: Life, adventuring (hey, life's an adventure don't ya know?), beating up bad guys

Dislikes: Boredom, spoilsports, meanies.

What I'm Looking For: Hey, what do you mean I'm too young for this site? Stupid nanny state! (or realm, whatever).

 **Lunara**

Likes: The great outdoors – the thorns, the vines, and the chirping of the cute little bunnies.

Dislikes: Mortals, the destruction of nature, people who think I'm Mylune.

What I'm Looking For: Toxic love.

 **Magni**

Likes: The sound of strength and steel, meeting in fire and fury of the forge (I've got more tongue twisters if you want).

Dislikes: Itches. Diamond and armour don't make it easy (could you give me a scratch?)

What I'm Looking For: It's…oh, did Muradin do that? Fine. Just call me.

 **Maiev**

Likes: Justice, order, lovely walks under the moon.

Dislikes: Traitors, betrayers, people who criticize me for using synonyms.

What I'm Looking For: Someone to stand by my side for 10,000 years as I guard the prisoners of the kaldorei.

 **Malfurion**

Likes: Hearing the call of the wild, feeling the touch of nightmare, and shapeshifting (sorry my love, I'm still into it).

Dislikes: Being woken up early, destruction of nature, getting my antlers caught in the trees.

What I'm Looking For: Nothing. For Tyrande's love is all I need.

 **Medivh**

Likes: Oh, what could bring me joy now? Once…once I knew joy. But now?

Dislikes: The voices and the shadow. They're always there. Always.

What I'm Looking For: Trust. Trust…is the one thing I need now.

 **Moira**

Likes: Power, influence, affluence, and wealth.

Dislikes: My father (no, I don't have daddy issues).

What I'm Looking For: Well, Dagran was my 'one true love,' but I'm happy for someone else to give me some…fire, if you know what I mean.

 **Muradin**

Likes: A good fight, a good drink, and the sound of cracking skulls.

Dislikes: People thinking I'm dead, being tossed (though being hurled is okay)

What I'm Looking For: Line up, it's hammer time! (I'll get back to you.)

 **Murky**

Likes: Marglegargle!

Dislikes: Murgle? Makraggle! Makraggle!

What I'm Looking For: GWAAAP!

 **Onyxia**

Likes: My plan succeeding, gullible fools.

Dislikes: Nefrarian, those who would mess up my plans. And children – they meddle.

What I'm Looking For: Come closer, my dear. Listen to my words and find out (or read them, I guess).

 **Ragnaros**

Likes: Shadow and flame. Oh, and barbeques.

Dislikes: Water, wind, and earth. Oh, and heart. Seriously, what kind of element is that anyway?

What I'm Looking For: I demand nothing of you. You shall all burn with this wretched world in the end.

 **Rehgar**

Likes: The thrill of battle, the sound of blood pumping in my ears, and raiding. Seriously, I can't train my gladiators without getting good loot for them.

Dislikes: People who go dying on me.

What I'm Looking For: Someone strong; a person who will fight to the end. Prove yourself, and then we'll see if you're worth my time.

 **Rexxar**

Likes: Isolation, hearing the call of the wild. The feel of an axe or two in my hands.

Dislikes: Those who would mar the land with their cities, and hunt the beasts of these lands unjustly.

What I'm Looking For: Isolation is my only companion. Well, Misha too, but who's going to date a bear?

 **Shandris**

Likes: Sockets, gems, and jewels.

Dislikes: Running out of arrows (not that this happens much – MOBAs and RTS games aren't too stingy),

What I'm Looking For: My brother, and…no, I'm not looking for a surrogate, why do you ask?

 **Stitches**

Likes: Smash! Play!

Dislikes: Being called fat (big boned!), when toys break.

What I'm Looking For: Friend to play with! Stitches play now!

 **Sylvanas**

Likes: Little. What could possibly warm my cold dead heart?

Dislikes: Fools such as yourself. You, who think you could find love on this forsaken website.

What I'm Looking For: Targets, and recruits for the Forsaken. Interested?

 **Thrall**

Likes: FREEDOM! ORGRIMMAR! And gorgeous golden-tressed wizzardesses.

Dislikes: Blood-curses that taint the spirit of my people. Lich Kings. The Burning Legion (seriously hate those guys!).

What I'm Looking For: Nobody who consorts with demons, sorry - too much drama. Must love dire-wolves.

 **Tyrande**

Likes: I am a servant of Elune, leader of the Sentinels, and champion of the kaldorei. My own desires need not concern you.

Dislikes: Shapeshifting. Totally not into that.

What I'm Looking For: Ah, Malfurion, you have proven yourself loyal. Very good. For now, my bow can remain aside.

 **Uther**

Likes: Righteousness, duty, and the Light.

Dislikes: Luxury, vanity, sloth, and getting hit by my own hammer.

What I'm Looking For: Ah, I'm too old for this nonsense. Sigh. I miss the good ol' days. Where only one type of paladin existed.

 **Varian**

Likes: Truth, honour, justice, and duty. Oh, and the feeling of a sword or two in my hands.

Dislikes: Those who would do my family or kingdom harm.

What I'm Looking For: Not sure if I'm in the dating business now. But only reply if you like children.

 **Varimathras**

Likes: Watching entire worlds and nations turn on each other in an orgy of blood and carnage. And I wouldn't say no to getting some of that blood on my own claws either.

Dislikes: Those who would get in my way.

What I'm Looking For: The blood of the Dark Lady to coat my claws.

 **Vashj**

Likes: Naga or bust. I have no interest in land dwellers.

Dislikes: Fresh air, fresh water (no, I'm not salty…wouldn't mind some salt though).

What I'm Looking For: Someone to swim the seas of the Nexus. And show me a tail of their own…

 **Velen**

Likes: Oh, what of my own needs? They are nothing compared to that of the universe.

Dislikes: The burning flame that comes to consume us all, and the dark that not even the Light can penetrate.

What I'm Looking For: Oh, what would companionship mean to me now?

 **Vol'jin**

Likes: I be keepin' ma friends close. That's all ya be needin' ta know.

Dislikes: Backstabbers. Ya wouldn't do that, would ya?

What I'm Looking For: Give me a blade or spear, and some big fat target to stick 'em in.

 **Za'Muro**

Likes: My blade, and the thrill of battle.

Dislikes: The Twilight's Hammer. People who call me "Samuro."

What I'm Looking For: Someone to taste my blade.

* * *

 _A/N_

 _To make it clear, some of these entries (Illidan, Thrall, Anub'arak) are the same ones that featured in the original trailer that gave me the idea for_ Matchmakers _in the first place. So yeah, nicking Blizzard's stuff, but hey, might as well steal from the best._


	4. Other

.

 **Heroes of the Storm: Matchmakers**

 **Chapter 4: Other**

 **Baleog**

Likes: Pounding skulls, cracking bones.

Dislikes: Computers. This here contraption ain't helping.

What I'm Looking For: A way home.

 **Blackheart**

Likes: Gold. Gold! **GOLD!** Oh, and rum.

Dislikes: Landlubbers, Davy Jones (stuffed me into his locker one too many times), lollygaggers.

What I'm Looking For: I need a good crew for a little sailing trip I'm planning. Willing to accept ladies in applications.

 **Blackthorne**

Likes: Locking and loading, pumping and dumping, and drinking the blood of my enemies out of a grag'ohr skull.

Dislikes: People who compare me to

What I'm Looking For: Someone to 'pump' some lead and metal with. Also a sequel.

 **Erik**

Likes: Minute rice, ramen, running like the wind.

Dislikes: Walls. I'm always expected to knock them down with me noggin', but do you know what that does to your brain long term? (No, seriously, I'm asking).

What I'm Looking For: A way…oh, Baleog's already done that. Er, fine. Go get me Fang and Scorch, they'll think of something.

 **Grave Keeper**

Likes: The taste of death, the touch of death, the...oh, you get the idea.

Dislikes: Well, what do you think? The Haunted Mines isn't in rotation anymore, the Raven Lord is pestering me in the Towers of Doom, and a thousand other little nuisances. Pick one!

What I'm Looking For: Bah, what help could you possibly give me? I don't know why I even bothered with this.

 **Lady of Thorns**

Likes: True chivalry (courtesy and tact are a lost art these days). Most of the time, knights can provide this, yet...

Dislikes: ...and yet the true history of my realm is forgotten. Hypocrites and liars – these are the things I detest.

What I'm Looking For: One who is honourable and just. Stand beside me when the flame comes, and we shall light a fire of our own.

 **Neithis**

Likes: Spinning a web of death as I suck the life out of my prey.

Dislikes: Plunderers, adventurers...you know what I'm talking about.

What I'm Looking For: I'm a black widow in need of companionship. And who knows? I might even let you 'plunder' me (on the condition of me devouring you after our copulation).

 **Nightshade**

Likes: The garden. Oh, the garden, the flowers, the weeds...want the garden...

Dislikes: Those who threaten my garden? You do not wish to harm my children, do you?

What I'm Looking For: You! Yes, you! I know you...you seek to harm my children...they shall grow...consume you...consume you!

 **Olaf**

Likes: Hoopa food de derpa.

Dislikes: Starve'in grappa marmoset.

What I'm Looking For: Home de scrofe lofin.

 **Raven Lord**

Likes: Those who give me their dues and accept my rule as absolute.

Dislikes: Edgar Alan Poe (seriously don't like his writing), miscreants, rebels, and chamber doors.

What I'm Looking For; A Raven Lady to lord alongside me. No children allowed.

 **Snake**

Likes: Fiddling around in my gearbox, putting the pedal to the metal, and rocking down the road.

Dislikes: New York (had to escape from it a few times), running out of gas, bad music (must have good taste if this is to work).

What I'm Looking For: Someone to put my own snake into their nuts and bolts, if ya know what I mean.

 **Tracer**

Likes: Spot of adventure, spot of fun, and a spot of fish and chips.

Dislikes: Injustice, meanies, chronal disassociation (real drag, let me tell ya).

What I'm Looking For: A good ol' proper hero. This world could always use more heroes.

* * *

 _A/N_

 _So that's that. I did consider doing entries for the alternate universe skins (e.g. Space Lord Leoric), but decided against it. Even when a character is from an alternate universe, a lot of their personality would remain the same in some cases._

 _So, thanks to those who reviewed. Don't have any_ Heroes of the Storm _stories on my "to write" list currently. Current writing focus is on a_ Warhammer 40,000 _story titled_ Chains of Fear


End file.
